DEALING WITH SHITTY PEOPLE
7:30 AMGrab a cup of tea and take a seat, folks. We're about to have a talk.
I'm sure we have all met a few shitty people through the years. And I'm not just talking about someone who has had a bad day and is taking it out on innocent bystanders-- we've all been that person a time to two (or seven hundred). I mean those few individuals who are arrogant, rude, and completely awful to be around.
Shitty people can drain your energy and leave you feeling irritable or just plain miserable. But sometimes you can't avoid being around a ghastly individual or two. The best thing you can do is learn how to handle the situation-- and your feelings-- as healthily as possible. So what can you do to make the best out of a bad experience?
First things first. Let yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling. If you are angry, be angry. If you are hurt, let yourself be hurt. Acknowledge to yourself how this person makes you feel and give yourself permission to feel that way. Sometimes when we deal with negative emotions, we want to suppress them in order to move on with our day. But that can cause those feelings to fester-- and if that sounds disgusting, that's because it is. Nothing good festers.
If you find that you are dwelling on your negative emotions, try a healthy distraction. If you are still in the presence of said shitty person, try to focus on your breathing or sing your favorite song in your head. Some good options for when you have finally freed yourself from the situation are meditation, reading or writing, sitting down with a nice cup of tea (or wine, of course), taking a walk, or even coloring. When your mind drifts back to those not-so-great feelings, refocus your energy on a new task.
My best tip, though, is to focus on the positive. It's difficult-- especially in the heat of the moment-- but it is a great exercise in mindfulness. When negative thoughts and emotions start to invade your brain, let them. But then try to find at least one thing you like about the other person, the situation, or yourself. For example, be proud of the way you are handling yourself in the presence of a shitty person. It isn't easy. Or mentally compliment the shitty person's outfit. I find that this just refocuses my energies and balances out the negativity. The more I practice this, the easier it is to let go of the nasty emotions and focus on the good.
Of course, sometimes you just need to wait until you can have a stiff drink or punch a wall. I mean, a girl's gotta do...
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